Oh, that we must

Oh, that we should ascend to God in prayer becomes the way we place ourselves before Him, the way in which we plead, and in the pleading admit our need, our lack, our desire to become whole. Our prayers offer a revelation, though not always at the moment of praying, that He should answer in His time and in His way. This sojourn we are on, this desire to know Him and understand, this apparent silence of this seeming unanswered prayer, must mean our Lord wishes to reveal something of Himself, something of our own faith life.

Prayer, all prayer, in its essence, cries to God that in the balance of justice and mercy His compassion be the guide by which we are judged. We ask, we plead that His grace should come not just for us but to those for whom we pray. Somewhere in the asking, while we come, we desire of Him to come. An earnest prayer is a heart prayer.

Meanwhile, until clarity presents itself, we choose to act out of what we know, and also from what we are unaware, what God has not yet revealed to us. The work of our hands may trail toward the good or toward the less desirable. The unwitting act, whether good or undesirable, says something about our soul.

Avivah Zornberg expresses the idea this way, “Acts, whether good or bad, may have a generative power. The structure of our soul may be affected by the work of one’s hand, even if unconscious.” Thus, this tells us all the more why we should turn to God in prayer, why we ask God to turn toward us by means of His grace, that we may not just know more of Him but become more like Him.

Every prayer has beneath the words an invocation of coming. A prayer of Moses, Psalm 90, in verses 13-17, expresses this desire overtly.

Turn, O Lord! How long? Show mercy to Your servants. / Satisfy us at daybreak with Your steadfast love that we may sing for joy all our days. / Give us joy for as long as You have afflicted us, for the years we have suffered misfortune. / Let your deeds be seen by Your servants, Your glory by their children. / May the favor of the Lord, our God, be upon us; let the work of our hands prosper, O prosper the work of our hands!

Let’s remember when we kneel and press our hands together in prayer, God will come, does come, always in His time and in His way. May the work of our hands between the prayer and the answer yield the good, and if it unwittingly does not, give thanks in the revelation God forgives through grace those who are unaware. Then, when awareness greets you, accept God’s forgiveness and ask the same from your neighbor for when you ask, God will be there.

Zornberg again— “And from the awkward passion of those who atone and pray, larger areas of love and compassion may become visible. Perhaps even the possibility of loving one’s neighbor as oneself.”

May the words of my mouth and the prayer of my heart be acceptable to You, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer (Psalm 19:15, JPS).