An insah-dent in Four Holes

Perhaps this all began with Cain and Abel, this us and them prism by which we live and think and see and do. Folks in Four Holes aren’t any different.

Down here in Four Holes, where my friend Mary says we’re just a screen door from hell, where the heat and humidity can make a man known and prominent by the way he sweats and will drive him to drink iced tea by the gallon, Fern Campbell had what is referred to in Four Holes as an “insah-dent.”

Fern wasn’t sure how the whole thing came about, but he got angry over it but not over his anger. Fern was known to carry a grudge if you got on his wrong side. Sometimes he would act like a toddler who lost his lollipop, always whining and crying about something gone wrong. Most folks tolerated his behavior because he was a fine carpenter and could fix most things broken. Maybe this is how it started. But what we do know is Fern got all worked up and tight-lipped and just squared his jaw over it.

Junior Bradshaw got wind of the problem and knew best not to ask Fern what happened. He figured he would let Fern vent when the time was right. But even then, he knew Fern would move on in a civil manner but the anger would persist and show up in strange ways.

All the while Fern was stewing about the matter, somewhere in his head as he thought about it, a flash would come across his brain matter the words the preacher sermonized about last Sunday. The message had to do with Jesus on the Cross saying those words, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” All Fern could mutter from his mouth is “yep, our Lord was right. They sure do not know what they’re doing. At least that Sue Heyward from Ohio doesn’t. Darn foreigners, I wish they would go home.” Fern had perfected the us and them thinking.

Well, Fern finally ran into Junior and unloaded his anger all over again. Junior just listened waiting for the speech to end. When Fern was out of breath, Junior began.

“Fern, didn’t you hear what the preacher said?”

“Yes, I did and it’s true. They don’t know what they’re doing.”

“Fern, you missed the point. The point is to forgive them, not get angry. You know, Jesus talked about forgiving when he spoke them parables and everything.” (Junior used the word everything when he needed to lump things together rather than explain it all.) “Besides Fern, you should know not to ask someone from Ohio for tea without using the words sweet and iced before it. They just don’t know what that is and everything.”

Fern heard the words but walked off without saying anything. Junior just shook his head because he knew like most people Fern would hang on to his anger, and you know, this thing with us and them and everything. Fern didn’t know there was no “them,” only us.